Muenster is Muenster, no matter how you slice it.

Chuck Schumer

Europe’s making a big stink over cheese. The EU wants to ban the use of names like Parmesan, feta, and Gorgonzola on US-made cheeses because ours isn’t as good or as original. Our cheese is becoming an international threat to sales and cheese identity. Our cows pale in comparison to theirs.

Getting this The Onion-worthy ban enacted would inevitably mean tough times on American businesses (especially small ones) and confusion in already chaotic supermarket aisles and on restaurant menus everywhere. It can’t happen…can it?

Government trade relations, folks!