RIP, bike. 1999-2012.

You were a good bike and we went through a lot. You got hit by a port-a-potty door, pooped on by birds, hit by a truck, and doored a handful of times; you survived the elements, crossed bridges, scaled hills, safely delivered me to work and volunteering, and did some wheelies; you were a load of fun. I see why someone would want to steal you even in your old age; I just really wish they failed.

Now, some extra-irritating facts:

  • This bike theft happened in broad daylight in the west village while I had brunch. Yes, it was locked with a U lock and cord that have served me well for at least 3 years.
  • The street was crowded with pedestrians. As we know, people sometimes don’t say something even if they see something. Just as guilty, I think.
  • I approached an NYPD traffic cop who was in a car on the block. I told him what happened and said it must have been in the last 15-20 minutes, and asked if he could look out for it. “That’s not my job.” “But aren’t bikes part of traffic.” “Nope.” “OK, at the very least can you be on the lookout and use the radio; it probably hasn’t gone far in such a short time.” “No. Not my job. You can go file a report at the first precinct.”
  • The website to register a bike was down when I finally thought to do it last week.
  • It’s harder than it seems to report a stolen bike. There’s no clear website link, and there’s no realistic action that can be taken to bring it back anyway unless it is registered. I will absolutely register my next bike immediately.
  • The 5 Stages of Grief feel weird to apply to an inanimate object, but to anyone who’s had a bike stolen, I think you’d agree that it applies perfectly.
  • This is not the first time I’ve had to deal with theft personally this year. Kinda makes you feel violated.

Anyone know where I can find a reasonably priced, stylish but not flashy, safe but fun new bike? I’m looking for a 48-50cm frame, probably a hybrid step-through with 10-18 gears. (Thanks, bike class!) Any leads would be incredible.

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