Dove conducted an experiment about how women perceive their own beauty. Very interesting to watch.

[Update 4/18/2013: I have heard as much negative about this ad as positive over the last several days. Posting was not an endorsement but rather a spark of conversation. My personal opinion: On one level, this is fascinating to see the difference in how people view themselves from how they’re viewed by strangers. To me, the difference in the second drawing was more a tone, a confidence, that makes someone more ‘beautiful’. On a different level though, I’m bothered by the homogenous subjects (just women in their 30s and 40s of mid-range weight and appearance with no normal blemishes or other noticeable appearance features) even though Dove usually does a better job than most with showing a range of women, and also the idea that beauty means narrower face, less freckles, fuller hair, etc. At the end of the day, I don’t think this ad/experiment is really helpful, and the interesting qualities would be better served outside of the beauty brand context. That’s my take.]

Top 7 telephone tips for calling a company’s main line

You’re calling a general line and don’t know who will pick up. Here’s a list of my top 7 telephone tips resulting in better communication and customer service:

image

  1. Identify yourself. Who are you and what is your affiliation? It’s very hard to field an inquiry without someone knowing who you are. Most people forget this.
  2. Speak clearly. Especially when calling from a mobile phone and/or outside, it can really be hard to understand you unless you speak slowly and enunciate.
  3. Do not speak in a run-on for 2 minutes before pausing. You might have the wrong number, be talking with the wrong person, and/or information might be lost or confused. You are just wasting your breath. Instead, start with the thematic nature of your question, and ask who best for you to speak with.
  4. Do your background research. If the company you’re calling has a website, look there first for your question. If you’re calling to follow up on previous engagement with that company or a staff member there, have that information in front of you. This sets a tone for a more productive conversation.
  5. Listen well. If the person who picks up tells you their name, company information, reference number, or anything else, note it. In the event that you get disconnected and need to call back, you have information to resume; in the event that your question isn’t answered and you speak with someone else, you have reference materials; if they are helpful, you’ve already begun recording information.
  6. Don’t assume the person who picks up is dumb; usually, it’s a person who knows more than you might think whether their primary job is receptionist or they’re a program employee manning the phones that hour. If they ask for information, don’t assume what they do or don’t know; tell them they information they ask for. They will inquire further or redirect if it’s outside their scope.
  7. Always, always be nice. Say thank you. Keep the tone of your voice courteous and not pushy. I promise that you will receive better assistance.

Simple! Now go make phone calls!

On December 2, Basque athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Burlada, Navarre. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai - bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics. As they entered the finishing straight, he saw the Kenyan runner - the certain winner of the race - mistakenly pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line. Fernández Anaya quickly caught up with him, but instead of exploiting Mutai’s mistake to speed past and claim an unlikely victory, he stayed behind and, using gestures, guided the Kenyan to the line and let him cross first. (Read more) Good sportsmanship. Winning isn’t everything.
View Separately

On December 2, Basque athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Burlada, Navarre. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai - bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics. As they entered the finishing straight, he saw the Kenyan runner - the certain winner of the race - mistakenly pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line.

Fernández Anaya quickly caught up with him, but instead of exploiting Mutai’s mistake to speed past and claim an unlikely victory, he stayed behind and, using gestures, guided the Kenyan to the line and let him cross first.

(Read more)

Good sportsmanship. Winning isn’t everything.

People who are negative tend to want to demean people’s ideas. They say what they don’t like, but they don’t really say what they want to do. It’s very hard to have ideas. It’s very hard to put yourself out there. It’s very hard to be vulnerable. But those people who do that are the dreamers, the thinkers and the creators. They’re the magic people of the world. So try to strive to be one of those.
Amy Poehler

How to Be a Connector

Nine months ago, I shared an article called Forget Networking. How to Be a Connector. Since then, I have developed and offered a class on just that. It’s been a popular class - surprisingly so - and I’ve learned a lot through teaching it. For instance:

  • People have a hard time realizing their existing network.
  • There’s genuine interest in developing stronger connections with people, but fear of going about it the ‘wrong’ way.
  • It’s a tough sell on why you’d want to go out of your way to connect two people with each other, because people want to unveil the hidden agenda.

I’ve also fine-tuned my definition of a Connector, which I think was a huge self-learning for me in 2012. I didn’t previously parse out what exactly makes me a Connector, nor did I think about why it is an asset that I can leverage in my career or otherwise. Here’s how I define it:

A Connector is a person who…

  • has lots of great people in their network
  • naturally introduces members of their network to one another
  • is socially fluent
  • is known and respected in their communities

…and who uses that power to bring individuals in their network together constructively and with overall success.

This year, I have embraced this personality trait and run with it, and I’m proud to have connected people over ideas, shared interests, collaborative potential, accountability, research, and resources. I enjoy connecting good people, and am fortunate to have (or to create) many opportunities for doing so. It’s a science, an art, and an energizing delight. 

Most exciting to me is that connecting people unleashes unlimited potential. I can’t wait to see what partnerships, conversation, and social change are sparked through catalytic connection; the power never stops!

How Money Can Buy Happiness,by AsapSCIENCE

Two thumbs up for this short video. Three if I were gifted an extra.

(Originally shared by Scott…thanks!)

Staycation Retreat

It’s official: my staycation through the end ofthe year has begun! I’m hoping to use this as a sort of Jen Bokoff company retreat, where I look at what’s been accomplished this year and determine a strategy for the future across all aspects of my life. It’s a one-person entity, but as you know, I thrive off of the energy of the people around me and recognize that I operate in a much larger ecosystem. So, I always welcome your feedback and thoughts on, well, me. Constructive comments about stuff you know about - maybe my blog, my career path, my productivity/organization, my personal strengths and weaknesses, my ‘extracurriculars’ - are all really great for me to hear and build off of. So, email me or call me or track me down in Brooklyn. Thanks! I’ll now commence my retreat with an icebreaker…

When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” To this day, especially in times of “disaster,” I remember my mother’s words and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers – so many caring people in this world.

Mr. Rogers

Even with the helpers to help recover and heal, we still need to better protect communities in the first place so that the scary things on the news are reduced to those scary things out of our control.

Helpers aren’t always the people on the ground immediately following a scary thing. Often, they’re advocates. Be a helper TODAY. Because every day we don’t assume the role as helper, more scary things happen.

Recognizing what homeless really means

During the recent storm, thousands and thousands of people lost their homes either permanently or for an extended period of time. These people span the socioeconomic spectrum; many have assets, good jobs, and degrees from a university. They are, by definition, homeless.

The HUD definition of homelessness includes:

  • People who are living in a place not meant for human habitation, in emergency shelter, in transitional housing, or are exiting an institution where they temporarily resided. The only significant change from existing practice is that people will be considered homeless if they are exiting an institution where they resided for up to 90 days (it was previously 30 days), and were in shelter or a place not meant for human habitation immediately prior to entering that institution.
  • People who are losing their primary nighttime residence, which may include a motel or hotel or a doubled up situation, within 14 days and lack resources or support networks to remain in housing. HUD had previously allowed people who were being displaced within 7 days to be considered homeless. The proposed regulation also describes specific documentation requirements for this category.
  • Families with children or unaccompanied youth who are unstably housed and likely to continue in that state. This is a new category of homelessness, and it applies to families with children or unaccompanied youth who have not had a lease or ownership interest in a housing unit in the last 60 or more days, have had two or more moves in the last 60 days, and who are likely to continue to be unstably housed because of disability or multiple barriers to employment.
  • People who are fleeing or attempting to flee domestic violence, have no other residence, and lack the resources or support networks to obtain other permanent housing. This category is similar to the current practice regarding people who are fleeing domestic violence.

It is not only after environmental destruction that “stable” individuals enter homelessness. Anything could be a trigger: a health problem, a dangerous or failed relationship, poor investments, landlord issues… you name it. Homelessness is very real. It has a bad rap - homeless individuals are often called lazy, unmotivated, stupid, a waste of public dollars - that is not fair. Sure, some people are absolutely those things, homeless or not. But for most, homelessness was not an expected consequence of actions nor a desirable place to be. It removes stability, reduces quality of life, increases reliance on a system that is far from perfect, and makes maintaining a routine challenging. There are fewer comforts and luxuries, and it’s a downward spiral to staying afloat.

Supporting stronger housing infrastructure and nonprofits working to combat homelessness has always felt important to me, and I think a silver lining of widespread housing disaster is that the problem is more vividly illuminated. Empathy and withholding of judgement, at the very least, towards folks who are considered homeless is non-negotiable.

If you want to learn more about homelessness and initiatives to combat it, the National Alliance to End Homelessness, HUD, BRC, and the Somerville Homeless Coalition (a favorite organization of mine) are great places to start, or feel free to email me.

Want to help NYC recover from the storm, but don’t know how?

If you’re here in person:

You can volunteer. NYC Service is the hub, but organizations like New York Cares also have projects in all 5 boroughs, and even have a special section of their website for disaster recovery. There are also great lists to monitor through Brokelyn and Time Out New York, which they’re keeping up-to-date and have opportunities specific to certain neighborhoods that have a lot of damage.

You can donate blood. 

You can offer a free service. Doctors are giving free exams and medical care; people are setting up charging stations through their fire escapes in east village; bikers are helping #bikesandy commuters commute through Transportation Alternatives. What can you offer?

You can respond to a need in a specific community. Chinatown, Red Hook, and Rockaway are some examples.

If you need resources, or have something to offer but are still not sure where, The Lower East Side Recovers is a great hub for connecting resources powered by OWS folks.

If you can’t be here:

You can donate. Cash donations to assist New Yorkers who suffered damage from Hurricane Sandy can be made to the Mayor’s Fund to Advance New York City. If you specifically want to aid in food rescue and delivery, donate cash to City Harvest or Food Bank NYC. To donate with maximum impact and reliable spending of funds, donate to the Center for Disaster Philanthropy. For goods and services to donate, visit Aidmatrix.

Join an online mobilizing effort. New York Tech Meetup, for instance, is helping (in person or virtually) to restore technology systems for businesses, nonprofits, and government alike. If you can’t help yourself, you can tweet about it and share resources so more folks in need know what resources are available to them.

Be empathetic. Even if it’s just listening to a friend on the phone or shooting an email to someone who evacuated to check in and offer support, it goes a long way.

Think about climate change as more than just a fluffy buzzword. It’s real and deserves education, thought, attention, and action.

These are just a few suggestions! Please add specifics that you know about in the comments for others to see.

A final note: I am always impressed by the way people in NYC help eachother out. I love this city. It’s scary seeing so many people still without power, water, or shelter, and not everyone has the networks or fortune to have a place to go. Everyone should find some way to pitch in, because that’s what makes a community like NYC so great. The city is still home; let’s make sure a storm can’t change that.


[UPDATE 11/5: As information has been updating rapidly here, another great tool to find what still needs help today (and there are many!) is this, via The Awl.]

Interview: Josh Gondelman, Postcard Sender Extraordinaire

I’m endlessly fascinated by people who communicate in new or different ways. Josh Gondelman, a writer and comedian based in NYC, decided earlier this year to send a postcard to anyone who wanted one because he loves letter-writing. My friend Barry told me about it, and of course I eat these things up. I signed up and promptly forgot about it, and then got a wonderfully hilarious mystery postcard in the mail a few months later. It took me a whole night to figure out who Josh was, and that in and of itself was lots of fun. Then, I interviewed him.

*************

Jen Bokoff: From whom and where was the first postcard you ever received?

Josh Gondelman: I don’t remember exactly the first postcard I ever got, but my grandmother, my dad’s mother, used to travel all around the world when I was younger, and so we’d get postcards from Russia and Greece and China. I don’t remember whether Antarctica has a post office for commercial use. Sometimes the mail took longer than my grandmother to get back to America, which was confusing to little me. I thought she was faking the cards and just sending them from her house, because I’d already seen her.

JB: Have you ever developed relationships beyond just a few interactions by sending random people postcards?

JG: I have! There are people I correspond with pretty regularly now that I’d first “met” through the project. Plus there are acquaintances that I’ve gotten to know a lot better because of their involvement. There’s one person who I see out a lot at standup shows (I am a standup comedian), and we’ve exchanged letters and met in person, but it’s a little awkward bridging the gap to casual, running-into-you friend. I’m trying to be more relaxed and natural about it. I always come off as, “Oh. It is so pleasant to see you in the world of buildings and bodies. What? Why did I say that?”

JB: You have nice handwriting. Do you think that’s becoming rarer as typing becomes more common?

JG: Oh gosh! Thanks! I do imagine probably people are less proficient at writing by hand now than they used to be. You must have received one of my early in the morning postcards. If I write a whole bunch in a day, by the end it’s just a lunatic scrawl. I try not to be a dinosaur and sob about how the decline of handwriting indicates a larger societal problem. On the other hand, it’s off-putting when someone writes down a takeout order, and it looks like something out of a serial killer’s diary.

JB: What’s the most memorable postcard you’ve ever sent?

JG: One guy requested that I write to him with my thoughts on medical marijuana, and I wrote back: “I think they should legalize pot but outlaw white guys with dreadlocks.” That was pretty succinct. I felt like I got it just right.

JB: Do you write other things besides letters and your tumblr?

JG: I do! I’m always writing for my standup act, and I write a lot of humor type pieces for Thought Catalog. Right now I’m actually working on a proposal for a memoirish book about this postcard project. So we’ll see if that becomes anything. It’s very exciting to think that anyone might want to read that! Ideally I’d love to get it so my job is some triangulation of standup, prose writing, and tv writing. We’ll see if I make it there!

*************

Check out Josh’s blog featuring many of his postcards, his humor writing, and everything else (including his upcoming performances).

Top